“Apparently it is relatively common to experience assault and even hatred from those for whom we have extended ourselves in kindness and aid. A famous sage once said something like “It is far to early in our relationship for you to be attacking me this way, my kindnesses were still relatively modest.” His meaning was that the more kindness one shows to certain persons, the more they will despise you and blame you for their misfortunes.

Frankly, I have only rarely found this to be true, but when it is, it is obvious. A few of those to whom I have entirely dedicated myself rewarded me with unimagined assault and even hatred. But I do not believe in this idea, in general. It is only a few who live this way, it is not the standard, however occasionally common it may seem.

I also think it stems from a particular relational situation, not merely the bestowal of kindness or aid. A situation in which the recipient is prone to blaming others in general, and their allies in particular. Thankfully, only very few of the people I relate with have ever acted in this fashion, and when they have, it did enough damage to them to be engaged in this behavior that they quickly lost the energy and momentum necessary to maintain their assaults.

Nonetheless, it is, however occasionally true that those for whom we extend ourselves, perhaps even risking our lives for them, will sometimes take this as a cue to attack us. Usually, it is easy enough to depart the relationship. In some cases, however, this is insufficient, and the aggravated beneficiary of our kindness becomes obsessed with some kind of inward fiction in which their persecutions of us are seen by them not only as necessary and righteous… but even heroic.

Such is the irony of human relation, particularly in contexts where the self-righteous ‘individual’ (read: social isolate) has inwardly reified the shadows of what might have otherwise become a sensitive, intelligent human being in relation with someone who genuinely cared for and about them.”

— an anonymous informant